Christ Became Enough

Hello Lovelies,

I had to stop wasting people’s time—whether in what could have been a romantic relationship or even in platonic friendships, girlfriends included.

As you all know, I’ve been single for a couple of years now. At first, that was really hard for me. But as I began to truly seek the Lord, season by season, He started to correct me—not just in how I viewed myself but also in how I was spending time with people.

I had to face the reality that sometimes I entertained connections I wasn’t truly invested in. Whether it was going out when I didn’t want to, texting back when I wasn’t really interested, or keeping friendships that weren’t life-giving, I realized I was filling a void in my heart with company instead of bringing those moments of “loneliness” to Jesus.

A few months ago, a sister in Christ lovingly confronted me about it. She asked me why I entertained people and friendships I wasn’t really feeling. We dug into the root of it—and the truth was simple: I craved attention.

And not only that—I kept entertaining old relationships. I would try to revive what Christ had already dried out. Deep down I knew there was nothing there for us, no real future, yet I still allowed certain individuals back in. It was a cycle of comfort and familiarity, but not growth.

Think about it. I’m single, I live alone with my dog, and most of my closest friends are married, engaged, or soon-to-be both. So whether it was attention from a man, an old connection, or just being invited somewhere with friends, I entertained it. But when Christ became enough for me, that changed.

It wasn’t easy. I had to die to my flesh in this area, and it’s still something I work on daily. But I’ve grown so much. Now, I have the confidence to decline invites—whether it’s because I want to rest, the environment doesn’t serve me, or the person simply isn’t for me. I want to leave room for what is for me, whether that’s a Christ-centered man or just the peace of saving my energy for the right things.

As I sought the Lord, He revealed to me in His Word what real love looks like. In Ephesians 5, we see what it means for a man to love like Christ, and in John 3:16, we see the very standard of sacrificial love. Once I understood that, saying no became easier—because I had a standard rooted in Christ, not in the world or what I thought I needed before.

And this applies to friendships too. I’ve shared this in a past blog, but I had to learn that self-care goes far beyond massages and mani-pedis. True self-care is protecting your environment. So yes, I might sacrifice a game night and stay home watching The Chosen—but that means I’m not putting myself in an uncomfortable environment, and I’m learning I don’t have to say yes to every invite. There’s peace in that.

Ultimately, I had to stop wasting people’s time—because in reality, I was wasting my own. Entertaining something temporary, or trying to breathe life back into relationships that God already closed the door on, is dishonest, not Christ-like, and at its core, it shows a lack of trust in Him. It’s like telling God, “I don’t trust You to send the right people, in the right timing, so I’ll settle for this instead.”

But here’s the truth: temporary satisfaction and recycled relationships will never compare to the fulfillment of Christ. He had to become enough for me.

And no, I’m not perfect in this area. I don’t have it all together. But I can say with confidence that I’m further along today than I was just a few months ago. Like Scripture reminds us, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6).

I’m learning to trust that promise—and to rest in the fact that Jesus is always enough.

With Love,

Jadesha M. Hair